#helluva boss blitz

[lost-romantique]

Viv took one look at this Candy Cane, and decided to give him a makeover and his own show.

And then Brandon came in and gave him all the rizz and self-loathing...

[funtomfiction]

“OW! A NEW HOLE! SCATTER!”

! You can make any male character significantly hotter by giving them excessive piercings.

[hushfluffles]

day 15, i noticed my day 4 post got more than 150 notes so i made another blitzo and verosika apology tour one. Thank you alllllll. Please comment requests

[birdy-babe]

MASTERMIND OUT ON THE 30TH

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[blitzsicedcoffee]

I can't believe they made the very average sized Imp main character think that he's this macho, ultra masculine, dom-top guy.

When really he's this (I know he contains multitudes):

Look at the little rat boy!!!!!! So little!!! So rat!!!!!

[spiderdetentionaire]

Can you imagine Emily showing up at the hotel in a Santa Claus costume now that it's almost Christmas.

Emily: Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas everyone!

But everyone looks at her weirdly, like if they don't get her costume.

Angel: Sorry to burst your bubble but we don't celebrate that here, dear.

Emily: But Christmas is a time of joy and it's when there's the most good will.

Alastor: And you think there's that kind of stuff here, dear?

Cherri: Yes, no one cares.

Emily: And it's also the time of giving and getting.

Husk: Again, did you forget that this is Hell? No one cares about that. Except for getting, of course. So we're sorry to disappoint you, but no one here cares about your precious Christ--

Then Vaggie appears out of nowhere. For a moment, she doesn't notice Emily's presence.

Vaggie: Listen up, everyone. Charlie's been working on this since November 3rd, for some reason, to make sinners want to come and want redeem themselves, so I want everyone to cooperate and above all to make Charlie's idea possible.

Alastor: And what's that idea about, dear?

Out of nowhere a portal appears and from it hundreds of colored lights, decorations and a huge pointy tree appear.

Charlie: *appears between the things* Merry Christmas! *sees Emily in her costume* Emily? Are you here to help? Fantastic!

Emily: *gets hugged by Charlie* Umm, yeah.

Everyone: Oh shit.

Alastor: We should've seen that coming.

Charlie: Alright. Angel, you and Niffty will decorate the inside and the rooms.

Angel: Uhhh

Charlie: Husk, you will decorate the outside. I would have thought you would do it by yourself, but now that Emily is here, she will help you.

Emily: What were you saying about no one caring?

Husk: Ugh.

Charlie: Cherri, you and Alastor will go promote that the Hazbin Hotel will be celebrating Christmas for the first time in Hell.

She shows them a huge mountain of flyers to hand out.

Charlie: And of course *uses her magic and dresses everyone, except Emily, in Christmas clothes, including herself* Done, it's good that Emily set the example. And lastly Vaggie and I will put up and decorate the beautiful tree that I brought.

Angel: And where exactly did you get such a nice and elegant pine tree? There's nothing like this in Hell.

Charlie: Well...

*Flashback*

In a pine lot on Earth, Blitzø, Moxxie, and Millie are on a special mission. A Christmas mission. They inspect every one of the pines in the lot when they seem to find the perfect one for their client.

Blitzø: Alright, this seems to be the one the little princess asked for.

Moxxie: Alright, we should go before the owner wakes up.

In a cubicle, the owner of the place is passed out on the floor with a big bump on his head. The imps finish passing the tree through the portal, and suddenly, Loona appears carrying (it doesn't seem like it, but that hellhound is quite strong) three more trees.

Moxxie: Wait a minute! Princess Morningstar only paid for one tree, right?

Blitzø: Yep!

Moxxie: And why are we taking three more?

Blitzø: One for my house, one for our office and the other for you and Millie. Consider it my gift to you.

Moxxie: But...

Millie: Awww Blitzø, you shouldn't have bothered.

Blitzø: I like to think in others.

*End of flashback*

Charlie: Maybe I'll regret that in the future, but we have a lot to do now.

That's all I got, hehe.

[cloudyvulpine]

Blitzø calls him Sotls bc he stols his heart

[drama-glob]

Just damn to the look of horror on Blitz's face when Rolando gets Millie. O_O Even when Rolando has his leg, he still tries to reach for her and if we didn't just see the heart to heart talk before this scene, there would be no denying that we see Blitz cares about Millie and can't stand to see her (or really anyone he cares about) hurt. It's also just so sad how many times Blitz felt useless/weak in this episode, which further adds to part of Rolando's psychological attack of saying Blitz always needs help, to say nothing about his belief that he always hurts the ones he loves. ;_; ;_; ;_;

Side note: I think Rolando does looks really cool as he turns into black goo. :)

[hazbinshusk]

blitzø x f!reader. another wonderful request that's been waiting far too long. blitzø walks in you during a private moment and is far too entertained to be convinced to leave. and what he offers you... can you say no in your current state? 1.5k.

or, simply, blitzø walks in on you masturbating.

featuring: masturbation, sex toys, voyuerism, a cocky blitzø, oral sex (f!receiving).

“Oh, fuck…” you groan, eyes rolling back behind their half-closed lids as you press the vibrator more firmly against your clit. It pulses in a way that makes your jaw clench, your hips rising off the mattress. “Fuuuck…”

You moan as you press the toy inside yourself, pumping it slowly so with each push it sinks another inch into your soaking cunt. You ache with the feeling of it, tilting it each time you pull it out to bump it against your clit again before fucking it into you again.

Your other hand ghosts your fingertips up over your hip, your stomach, coming up to squeeze your breast. You whimper as your palm grazes your nipple, biting your lip against another moan as you pinch it and tug, feeling it tighten and harden under your touch.

“Satan’s… fuck, Blitz…”

“Heh.” An obnoxious voice sounded from the other side of the room, and your eyes flash open. “I knew you wanted me.”

You shoot up, grabbing a pillow and shielding your body with it. Your whole body shudders despite your mortification as the vibrator still pulses inside you and it slips out onto the sheets between your thighs, the vibrations obvious and loud against the sheets. “Blitz! What the—the fuck are you doing in here?”

The imp smirks from where he stands leaning cockily against the doorframe, his arms folded across his chest. His tail curls and unfurls, whipping behind him almost predatorily. “You called me in here.”

“Not in my— my house, Blitz,” you snap, your face stained dark with your embarrassment. You hug the pillow tighter against yourself, one arm banded around it to hide your chest, the other pressing the corner of it down between your thighs. Even feeling the dull sensations of the vibrations on the mattress beneath you is enough to make you quiver. Or maybe that’s… fuck, he’s still staring at you. “What are you doing in my house?”

He shrugs a shoulder, glowing eyes still set on you with a tingling intensity. “Got bored. Thought we’d watch a movie. Didn’t know I was gonna get a live show.”

“How’d you even—” you break off, pointing a hand towards the door over his shoulder imperiously. “I don’t care, just… for the love of Satan, please. Get. Out.”

Blitzø’s smile widens, his eyes falling to where the pillow had wilted, to where your nipple peeks out from behind the plush cushion. You don’t notice immediately, and Blitzø has the audacity to move further into the room. “Is that what you want?”

The tone of his voice drops into something huskier, teasing… and it’s enough to make your breath hitch. You can feel your thighs are slick with your own cum, and even without the vibrator against your clit, your excitement hasn’t waned. If anything, the tingling that runs down your back and lingers in your breasts makes you bite your lip.

Your words come shakily, and you curse yourself for it. “Wh-what are you… talking about?”

“Sure you don’t want me to stay?” he asks you tauntingly, still approaching the bed. His tail switches back and forth behind him slowly. “Preeeeetty sure you were just beggin’ for my help…”

“Blitz…” you mean it warningly, you do, but your voice is too breathless to be convincing. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?” he continues, planting his hands on the edge of the bed and leaning towards you. “Don’t ya want me to show ya just how good the fantasy is as a real fuckin’ technicolour fuck?”

You swallow, your mouth suddenly dry.

Blitzø jumps up onto the bed, crawls towards you. If possible, your face flushes further as he pauses to pick up the toy still dancing against the sheets. He holds it up beside his face, tongue darting out teasingly as though to lick it. “Ugh, Blitz—!”

He snickers, turning it off and tossing it aside. It lands with a dull thump on the other side of the bed. “Stop panickin’, tits. I prefer it right from the source.”

Blitzø runs his hands up your bare calves, takes hold of your knees and pushes them wider apart from where they’re still clenched around the pillow. You catch his smirk in the moment he leans forward, and without thinking, you reach up and wrap your hand around the back of his head and pull him into a kiss.

He grins against your lips, tongue sliding eagerly into your mouth to meet yours. You whine into his kiss, feel his teeth graze your bottom lip for a second before he sucks it gently, pressing his forehead against yours long enough for you both to catch your breath. Then his mouth is on yours again, swallowing the sound of surprise you make when he tugs the pillow out from between the two of you.

He urges you onto your back, laying you out completely bare beneath him. You feel his hand take hold of your hip, his claws digging into the flesh there firmly enough for them to prick your skin. He lets the kiss linger until you whimper into it, your body arching up off the sheets damp with your cum.

He pulls back with a cocksure grin curving his lips. “Just how often do ya think about me when you play with yourself?”

You snake a hand between the two of you to squeeze the bulge between his legs. Blitzø groans, eyes rolling back, and he ruts himself against your palm. “Same question, B.”

He snickers, kissing you again before lowering himself down your naked form, pressing open-mouthed kisses against your heated skin. You moan as his lips and tongue find your breasts, first one, then the other, lingering long enough to suck bruises into the soft, supple flesh. He grazes the point of a fang over the tender point of your nipple and your body jolts, a breathless, surprised little “haaah” escaping you.

He grins at your reaction, hand smoothing down the outside of your thigh as he smacks a loud, childish kiss against your sternum. Blitzø continues his path down your body, inhaling deeply when he reaches the apex of your thighs.

“Fuck…” he mutters, his breath tickling against your wet flesh. He doesn’t give you a chance to formulate a response; burying his face between your thighs and sliding his tongue against your cunt. The groan he lets out at the taste of you echoes your moan, your head falling back against the pillows. Blitzø hooks his hand under your thigh and hooks it over his shoulder, rolling his tongue against your clit hungrily. “Fuck, you taste like pure fucking… sex…”

You clutch at his horns with both hands, pushing your hips up to meet his mouth. Blitzø grins into your cunt as he lets you fuck his face, flicking his tongue over your clit again before sliding his it deep into your quivering pussy.

“Oh, shit, Blitz!” your voice is torn and broken with need, and he rewards the sound by touching two fingers to your clit. He teases it in tandem with the way he fucks you with his tongue, and your eyes roll back, your body tensing against the feeling of it. “Fuck, that’s— ohhh…”

Blitzø quickens his pace and you keen, fingers digging into the keratin of his horns as you cum against his mouth. He withdraws his tongue from your cunt only to return it to your clit, both hands grasping a firm hold of your hips, forcing them down against the mattress. He holds you in place and your upper body lifts, curling forward at the never-ending assault he gives your clit.

Blitzø doesn’t let up until there are tears burning in your eyes and you’re begging him to stop, tugging hard at his horns in the hope of easing the tension that keeps winding up and snapping inside you. Blitzø laughs into your cunt and even that is too much, and you squeeze your thighs so tight around his face he has to force your legs apart again.

The imp licks his lips, wipes his mouth with his sleeve as he crawls back up your body. The cocky grin is back, and he braces himself up over you. He presses his hips teasingly forward, and even the brush of his clothed erection against your over-sensitised cunt makes you twitch.

“And that,” Blitzø says, watching with a smirk as you try to steady your breath. “Is why I don’t knock.”

You manage to scoff, rolling your eyes. You shove at his chest, and he laughs again. “That is not the lesson here.”

“No?” he arches a brow, and you hear him fumble one-handed with the front of his pants. “Pretty sure it is.”

“Pretty sure it’s not, Bli—” you break off with another moan as he suddenly slides his cock up between your thighs. “Damn it, Blitz… fuck…”

“You wanna try and convince me otherwise?” he asks teasingly, rocking his hips until the head of his cock just presses into your cunt. Your hips rise reflexively, and you whine as the movement draws him a few inches deeper. Blitzø moans, face falling against your shoulder for a moment. He pulls back again, corkscrewing his hips slowly, slowly into yours. “You might wanna do it without moaning, tits.”

[ihavebadtasteinmen]

[darklinaforever]

Me facing people who say that the Stolitz relationship is based on the rape...

But what the hell show did you watch...

[lunaticalove2]

Ok but this.

This is literally me.

MEEE.

Also.

11 days to Mastermind

Stolas has always been "Single"...

One thing I've noticed people say that genuinely disturb me is when they think Stolas should learn how to be single...

Guys, Stolas has been "single" his entire fucking life.

On paper, he may have been "married".

But Stolas was married to a partner that treated him like shit, and forced him to live a life constrained from being his gay ass self.

People are treating the relationship he had with Blitz as them being in an actual romantic relationship, but as Blitz stated...

To Blitz, he and Stolas were never in an actual romantic relationship because let's face it, it's true.

Blitz simply operated under the terms that Stolas had set for them in their full moon romps.

Remember guys....

This man is an emotionally-inept dumbass, who automatically assumes the worse. Of course, he's not going to see any of Stolas’s invites as anything other than Stolas just wanting him for his body.

Is it right? No, of course not.

But this is Blitz, and I'm not expecting a man who has been suppressing every single major emotion and traumatic event in his life for 15 years (prior to GF) to pick up any of the hints Stolas was dropping. He's a dumbass.

So yes, Stolas has never been in an actual relationship, and I don't think he needs to learn how to be "single" when he's been single his entire fucking life.

The man doesn't need to learn to be happy alone when he's always been alone!

"You wanna know what I want? I want to know what it's like, to not be alone. I want to be someone's someone. I want to feel wanted. But like, in a romantic way, like I'm standing out in the rain at a train station and someone is shouting: “Harriet! Don’t get on that train, it’s going to London and I cannot be without you!”"

"I just... want someone to care if I stay or go. I want someone to want... me! To want to see me. To hold me. To look at me and think "You're the only one I want!" [sheds tears] "I desire to hold you and talk to you, and never let you feel so...""

So yeah, I really don't think Stolas needs to learn to be happy alone. He knows what it's like to be alone, he's always been alone.

~~~~~~~~~~

And you know what I want?

Maybe I just want, this sad gay 🦉 to give this equally as sad and lonely pan 🦎 another chance...

Because, you know, even though he's an emotionally-inept dumbass and a motherfucker...

He's charismatic and charming...

He's good at fighting...

He's protective...

He knows how to have fun...

He's got the most beautiful smile...

He's hot as fuck...

And I also heard...

He's got a pretty cool family.

[birdy-babe]

Two weeks until we can finally know what’s Vissago is up too… two weeks before I can finally get the confirmation that he’s EVIL and NOT GOOD and NOT GONNA STEAL STOLAS AWAY FROM BLITZO 🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺

all jokes all jokes… no matter who vissago ends up being I’ll be all for it

(Do I think it would be hilarious if he ended up being like… Stolas’ brother? After all the Vissago/Stolas fanart? Absolutely lmao. Will I be stoked no matter who he ends up being? Also absolutely yes lmao)

[blitzsicedcoffee]

More explicit stolitz fanfics without any previous huge story or plot! Where is my shameless smut! Do I have to do everything around here!

[seizethegay420]

[fleshgerm]

OH BOY I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE CRIPPLING ANGST BETWEEN THESE TWO